Cote de Ventoux, guacamole and some artichoke dip

Now that I've returned from the 5th shopping trip in 2 days, I finally have a phone, 100+channels of english-speaking TV, and... (drum roll please), an internet connection. I thought I had it all figured out. Even before I left, I planned, researched, ordered things online, made calls. I was sure I could pull off this move without a hitch. I forget about entropy. No matter how much planning you do, something unexpected happens. Like planning a wedding (so I imagine after having participated in many of my friends' weddings), you can't account for everything--there's always a monkey wrench that gets thrown in at that last minute.

Yesterday, I went to IKEA and got a bed; to Target and got other various essentials for the house--all of this after a a brief nite's respite and with a major dose of jetlag. A quick tour at Whole Foods for some yummy edibles, and back to the house to unload all of the purchases. Whew. The bed box was so heavy I had to unpack it at the foot of the stairs to take it up piece by piece. But I managed to unload most everything and find a parking spot for the rental car.

Alright, now I just need to find that mattress that comes with the bed and enjoy a long night's well-deserved rest. Wait a minute. Hang on just a cotton-picking minute! Where the hell is the mattress? No. It's a cruel joke. It's 8:30pm and IKEA closes at 10--too far to make a return trip before they close. Right. Well I bought some carpets and blankets and, oh yes, towels. Let's make a big pile of them and maybe add... yes, my big fluffy robe- that'll do it. Surprisingly, it wasn't too uncomfortable for a makeshift mattress in the end. Aside from turning in the night and ending up in the bathroom, that is.

Today, tour 2 of IKEA. Amazingly, I manged to buy some more crap that I was too tired to bother with the day before. Ah, evil genius that is the design of the IKEA showroom, I salute you. I used a Zipcar (car sharing/rental) for the 1st time, and successfully avoided crashing into kamikazi Bostonian drivers who thought that the fastest moving car had the right-of-way at intersections where the traffic lights weren't working due to a power outage. (For the record, this is not true- one should stop at each light as if it's a stop sign, even in Boston). I even made it back to the house on time for my cable/TV/phone appointment, basically my savior at this moment in life. Nice guy comes and sets me up, but tells me that I need another plug so that I can connect the cable box and my phone at the same time. "Don't you have a power strip?" he asks. No, I didn't think of that. Don't have a single thing with an US-standard plug, actually-0ther than the lamp I bought at IKEA yesterday. AGGHH. Well, no matter. At least I have internet. Who needs a stupid phone anyway, I have Skype. One small problem, the installation program doesn't work. I need some stupid account # that the guy didn't give me. But he did said that i could call if I had any problems. Great. NO phone, because I can't plug it in without a power strip. Ha. Ha. Ha.

Right. So I need a power strip. I have no car today, one day rental only. So... I can't go back to Target. Where can i find one here? Let's try the super-duper grocery store. Happily they had not only my power strip, but also some tools that I realized I was missing when I tried to assemble my foldy-IKEA bed. Now I'm all set. Opened the Cote de Ventoux, made some American artichoke dip and guacamole with blue corn tortilla chips. Minor dramas solved, and I'm now reconnected to the world. Bienvenue, Bienvenido, Welcome!

Why can't I be a P.I.?

Dear boss,
The paper came out on Friday. The 'in this issue' feature turned out quite well. Not bad for a paper that was supposed to get rejected, huh? I don't suppose you got any reprints? They sure are nice to keep as a record of one's work, and I would love to have a copy!

Dr. E-
Yes it is surprising but in fact this has happened before. The field is 'sexy' and related to women's health issues and if you can believe it, I put it on the map. But I am not one to look a gift horse in the mouth. I have not received the reprints but I have attached the pdf of the final version. If I receive hard copies (I am not sure these are still generated), I will send you most of them as they are rarely used these days. Hope all is well.

(One Nature paper and one in Development must mean, putting it on the map?) I guess I was never narcissistic enough to be a P.I. (have my own lab).

Alysia's NYC tour for tourists who don't have a 6-figure salary

Train map here:
http://www.mta.info/nyct/maps/submap.htm

***Union Station
there's an old wall with a mosiac on it in the station which I love
You can also take the L train to Williamsburg, Brooklyn (see below) from here

nearby you'll find Old Town for a burger and a beer
http://www.oldtownbar.com/
45 E 18th St
New York, NY 10003

***Grand Central
Look up at the ceiling with the constellations on it!
Also, check out the Wisper corner downstairs

http://manhattan.about.com/od/historyandlandmarks/a/secretgrandcent.htm

For a fancy martini go to the Campbell apartments, right inside the train station!~ very chic ~ (no sneakers, hats, T-shirts)
http://www.grandcentralterminal.com/pages/getpage.aspx?id=37FBE0FE-9D55-4103-B002-79B615E06CAF

****TOURIST THINGS YOU CAN FIND IN A BOOK THAT ARE STILL COOL***

#The MoMa modern art museum is very well done, it's in a new
location, the architechture is great
#The pyramid room in the Metropolitan museum (you can give a donation of a few dollars, you are not required to give $15 or whatever is the 'suggested admission price'
#The dinosaurs at the Natural History museum are the best in the whole world (really) also, you can give a donation here too I think
#Ellis Island Ferry- you can go see Lady Liberty and don't even have to get off the boat- just ride it back to Manhattan. Boat leaves from Battery Park at the southern most tip of Manhattan.

***French-American restaurants
neighborhood: WEST VILLAGE
Pastis at 9 9th Avenue
Telephone: + 1 212 929 4844

neighborhood: EAST VILLAGE
Balthazar at 80 Spring St.
Keith McNally's Paris bistro-inspired masterpiece, very beautiful, a bit expensive.
There is great shopping in the East village too

neighborhood: ALPHABET CITY
Casimir at 103 Ave. B, between 6th and 7th Sts.
Alphabet city is also the perfect place to just flaneur/wander and find a fun bar for a drink. It’s known for being cheap and quirky/originale.

***Central Park – visit Shakespeare's garden or the Ramble (see attached .pdf file of the park)

neighborhood: WEST VILLAGE
The Corner Bistro- has The Best Burger in NYC - order the McSorley's beer
331 W 4th St
New York, NY 10014

neighborhood: UPPER EAST SIDE MANHATTAN
McSorley's Old Ale House at 15 East 7th Street

They make their own beer! Your drinks choice is light or dark ale.
Women were not allowed in until 30 years ago!!!! You could go have a beer at McSorleys after seeing Museums on 5th Avenue


neighborhood:MEATPACKING DISTRICT (sortof)

*Eat in the 'When Harry Met sally' Katz jewish diner
order a pastrami sandwich and Matza ball soup

Katz Diner at 205 E. Houston St. (at Ludlow St.)
212-254-2246


***Suburbs/banlieu outside of Manhattan- Astoria for greek food or Brighton beach for Russian food

neighborhood: ASTORIA BROOKLYN
Omonia Cafe (32-20 Broadway) is a delicious Greek cafe. Sit and sip an espresso, munch on Greek and French pastries, and enjoy the neighborhood atmosphere. Omonia made the wedding cake for My Big Fat Greek Wedding.

neighborhood: BRIGHTON BEACH
Take the express (plus vite que normal, p/c il y a moins des arêtes) train D or Q to Brighton Beach Avenue. Use Brighton 5th Exit and walk east towards Brighton 3rd. Primorski russian restaurant is located between Brighton 2nd and 3rd.
I love this beach.

Coney Island is an amusement park, you can take the train to the beach. (Coney Is is featured in many American movies)
By Train: Take the B, D, N or F trains to Stillwell Avenue-Coney
Island (the last stop), or take the D or F trains to West 8th Street.

http://www.theinsider.com/nyc/attractions/2coney.htm


***Williamsburg Brooklyn by L train from Union Station
It’s probably my favorite place outside of Manhattan. It’s really fun just to flaneur and see the hipsters (nouveaux hippies), artists, and strange Brooklynites.

RESTO: Bonita
Mexican Cuisine
338 Bedford Avenue (between S. 2nd and S. 3rd)
take the Bedford Stop on L train
PHONE: (718) 384-9500
HOURS: Daily, lunch and dinner; Sat-Sun, brunch
My favorite thing: Huevos rancheros

BAR: Union Pool
[L Trian to Lorimer Ave]
484 Union Ave., at Meeker (walk west down N. 8th & you'll find it
under the BQE expressway/autoroute)
Phone: (718) 609-0484

For art galleries in the area... this is the new home for up-and-coming artists…..
http://www.freewilliamsburg.com/galleries.html

Proof that even the proofs are painful

Dr. E:
Please have a look at proofs asap. I just got them as I was away at a meeting. Can you turn this around in a day? (He's waited 2 days to send them to me, they are already past the deadline)

Postdoc:
Yes, I don't know if it will be by the end of business US time, but I'll get it done today.
I should send them a message saying that I'll get it to them before start of business tomorrow morning.

Postdoc upon 5 minutes of further reflection feels like a lackey to a boss she is no longer paid by:
I don't have a copy of the paper here. Nor do I have the final version of the paper that you edited (which was around 700 words, was it not?). I think that you are going to need to take a look at this too. Do you think that will be possible?

Dr. E:
I already contacted them (editors)

--

No further response yet received from across the pond. I assume he just expects me to take care of it for him. Is he being lazy, careless, or just plain inconsiderate? I'll leave that for you to decide.

My paper is highlighted in the 'Annotated Table of Contents' section. Hmm, must not have been written too badly, after all.

Dear Dr. Evil,

Please allow me to introduce myself - I am the Associate Reviews Editor of the journal X (that my boss was sure my paper had NO chance of getting accepted to), who prepares the In this Issue page of the journal. This page features 5 or 6 papers from each issue, and its aim is to highlight and unpackage the findings of each selected paper to make them accessible to our readers from across the different disciplines of the blah blah biology community. The In this Issue page is also sent out to other journals and press organizations to alert them to our upcoming content.

My reason for writing is that your recently accepted paper has just been selected to feature on the In this Issue page of Issue XYZ. As such, I wonder if you could read the attached Word document of the piece I have written on your paper and let me know by return if it is scientifically accurate, and if it gets across the essence and key findings of your paper.

Please note that it will only be possible to make small and essential changes to the text as these pieces are written to a strict format and word count. I also need your feedback as quickly as possible as this issue is about to go to press (within the next 24 hours would be great).

With thanks and best wishes,
Associate Editor Urkel

The final chapter?

I made it. I found a life after the postdoc. And a fan-f*cking-tastic job at that--working for one of the top 3 science publishers. What did Dr. Evil (my boss) say? Nothing, other than "I thought you were leaving in mid-March, not in January". I'd only told him a year in advance that I wouldn't be renewing my contract ending on Jan 31st.
Thanks for the congratulations, boss.

Though I had finished writing my paper at the end of October, just before the favorite postdoc finished hers--Dr. E refused to submit the paper without what he called "critical experiments". I had already told him that I'd had a job offer at this point, so I'd imagined that he'd have a positive attitude about getting some reviewer's comments while I finished up those critical experiments. I was wrong. Instead, I was summoned into his office for that oh-so-famous, "I don't know why you can't write" talk. Right. It must be me. It can't possibly be related to the fact that you're pissed at me for "leaving you" (the lab, whatever it's the same in his mind). Or that you had to finish writing the favorite postdoc's paper because she gave birth about 3 months sooner than expected, and you're just plain exhausted.

So I get told to re-write it.

I change the abstract and about 5 sentences within the main body of the text.

Twelve revisions later--not including the versions 1.2, 2.2, 3.2 (you get the idea), he submits my paper just before Christmas. Two full months after I'd written it the first time.

I leave the lab January 27th. I'm in Egypt when I get a text message from a labmate that my paper has been accepted with practically no revisions. I'm in shock, since Dr. E was convinced that my paper would have a difficult time getting accepted at the revered Journal where we had submitted. I wait for a confirmatory email from Dr. E himself before celebrating.

His comments on Jan 30th:
Your paper for Prestigious Journal X was accepted almost with no revisions...pretty amazing. This has happened but 3 times in 100 papers so congratulations. Maybe we should have shot even higher??? Alas, I will send you the comments. I think I can handle all but one which is to provide a better photo of one of the figure panels.
If you check your mail while away, then have a drink to the paper.

~~~~~
See reviewer's comments below:
The overall evaluation is positive and we would like to publish a revised manuscript in "Famous Journal X", provided that the referees' comments can be satisfactorily addressed.

Please attend to all of the reviewers' comments, and do ensure that your manuscript falls within the journal's limit of 7000 words (3000 for Research Reports). The word count does not include the reference list but does include figure legends.
___

Pretty easy--I foolishly think to myself. Though he manages not to be able to handle the reviewer's comments after all, and waits until I've started my job in mid-march to ask me to address some things he should already know how to fix, if he'd actually read the paper, or paid any attention to my result. Recall that I'd only give 2 lab meetings during 3 years in Paris, so it' not so surprising that he has no real idea what my project is about. So I answer him point by point, and all by memory, since the paper is on my other computer at home. I also tell him that though he's insisting I send him a new figure legend-- he doesn't actually need one because I have not actually changed the figure, just made small changes in contrast and brightness. Why hadn't he compared the old and new figures to see if I'd actually addressed the reviewer's comments? I'll leave you to answer that for yourself.

He email me to say it's done. He's submitted the paper. I am content that I will soon have no reason to see emails from him in my inbox.

Two days later I get an automatic email from famed journal X. The paper is 700 words over the 7000 word limit. Oh my god. He was too lazy to a) read the editor's letter, b) click 2 things in MS word to obtain a word count, or c) he's got Alzheimer's. I figure if he needs me, he'll email me, since I got an automatic absence response when I tried to contact him.

One week later Dr. E. tells me that the paper has been accepted. He doesn't realize that I know he's been asked to reduce the word count, by a whopping 10%, btw. I offer to help him edit it, because I'm so panicked I don't even read his email. He says, "to work on what? It is done..." like he hadn't edited my first-author paper without asking me to review his changes.

He continues, "The editor had contacted me outside of this last week to let me know the intro was highly repetitive and to get rid of the conversational style (I thought I had done so but she was right). Anyhow, it is all fixed and you will see the proofs of course". What an asshole. Note how he manages to insult me in his response. He edited 10% of the paper and didn't even run it by me. But I let it go because I though, it's the end. Ha ha. Right.

30 minutes later I get a message saying that the resolution of the figures is too low. You have got to be KIDDING me. I'm sorry, is this the first paper he's submitted? Of course you have to send hi-res images for the final draft. And he can't find them. He's lost the figures, and I'm now 3000 miles away. He resolves the issue by giving me his login to the journal and I upload them myself. No thank you. Somehow, I'm not surprised.

Is it over yet? Perhaps not, I still haven't seen the proofs.